This week I got a card in the mail from a very dear friend of mine. I have been blessed with a few (as Anne of Green Gables would say) "kindred spirits" in my life, and this is one of those friends. We may not talk every day, or even very often, but we have a connection and openness that revives instantly the moment we reconnect. I am thankful for my experience of being on summer staff at Twin Rocks, because when I think about people I value in my life, I'm amazed at how many precious friendships have come from that place, including this one.
It's been fun over the last few years to get updates from old summer staff members. New jobs, relationships, and a lot of weddings continue to happen (and after the weddings come the baby announcements). This year alone I can think of at least five weddings, and I'm sure there are more that I am forgetting.
But back to the card. In it were words of truth that brought tears to my eyes. As we both are struggling to have patience and wait upon the Lord for his timing, we have found encouragement from one another. As I read her words, I felt they echoed my own thoughts. So thank you, Dear Friend, for your words of encouragement and truth:
Our Lord is truly MIGHTY TO SAVE. If he can move mountains, he can surely bless us and grant us the desires of our heart. Whenever I begin to doubt...I reassure myself that God is all I need. I wanted to get married, and God blessed me with a wonderful husband. Anything else that happens now, I tell myself, is purely extra. I don't NEED a child. I would love to have one more than anything, but when it comes down to it God is really all I need...God can do so much for us in the "waiting."
And so I wait.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
This week as a Substitute
I enjoyed my Spring Break last week, though much of it was spent getting over a nasty cold (I thought I should specify what kind of sick I was feeling, since certain family members were wondering if my sickness referred to flu-like symptoms), and working at the restaurant. Regardless, it was nice to have a break and time to slow down and see my husband.
The week before Spring Break I substituted most of the week in the Parenting/Childhood Development classroom. During the Parenting class we watched movies such as "Cheaper by the Dozen," "Parent Trap," and "Yours, Mine and Ours," as students studied family units. The Childhood development class is actually a preschool, where the high school students plan and teach lessons they've created. It was fun to get to spend the week with three and four years olds-they are undeniably adorable!
This week I am lucky enough to be substituting again for the same teacher. This week the Parenting class is studying (what else?) pregnancy. Today we watched a video, "Eating for two," all about how to handle nutrition and health during pregnancy, and tomorrow we will be watching a very scientific video showing the process of conception and fertilization (from the inside, of course!). And, I get to continue to enjoy working with the preschoolers. These kids are at such a fun age, where they are learning how to interact with peers, and always say the darndest things. All that to say that I'm enjoying substituting this week, though working with little ones is exhausting as well.
The week before Spring Break I substituted most of the week in the Parenting/Childhood Development classroom. During the Parenting class we watched movies such as "Cheaper by the Dozen," "Parent Trap," and "Yours, Mine and Ours," as students studied family units. The Childhood development class is actually a preschool, where the high school students plan and teach lessons they've created. It was fun to get to spend the week with three and four years olds-they are undeniably adorable!
This week I am lucky enough to be substituting again for the same teacher. This week the Parenting class is studying (what else?) pregnancy. Today we watched a video, "Eating for two," all about how to handle nutrition and health during pregnancy, and tomorrow we will be watching a very scientific video showing the process of conception and fertilization (from the inside, of course!). And, I get to continue to enjoy working with the preschoolers. These kids are at such a fun age, where they are learning how to interact with peers, and always say the darndest things. All that to say that I'm enjoying substituting this week, though working with little ones is exhausting as well.
Monday, March 17, 2008
I've been at home sick for the past week. I called into work sick on Wednesday, pushed through Thursday, and stayed home all day Friday and Saturday. I tried working Sunday and came home after an hour. I'm feeling better today, and fortunately it's my Spring Break this week, so I have more time to rest. (I'm still working at the restaurant, but at least I can sleep in).
I think my body has been trying to tell me something: I'm working too much. Or rather, I need to rest more. I think I'm going to cut down to three closing shifts a week at the restaurant, at least for a little while. I get sick like this whenever I push myself too hard. Last spring this happened and I lost my voice for a couple days, in the midst of graduate school and student teaching. It's amazing that our bodies are made to let us know when we need to rest.
I think my body has been trying to tell me something: I'm working too much. Or rather, I need to rest more. I think I'm going to cut down to three closing shifts a week at the restaurant, at least for a little while. I get sick like this whenever I push myself too hard. Last spring this happened and I lost my voice for a couple days, in the midst of graduate school and student teaching. It's amazing that our bodies are made to let us know when we need to rest.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Springtime Thoughts
Psalm 71:5-7
O lord, you alone are my hope.
I've trusted you, O Lord, from childhood.
Yes, you have been with me from birth;
from my mother's womb you have cared for me.
No wonder I am always praising you!
My life is an example to many,
because you have been my strength and my protection.
These verses have been on my mind and heart over the last few weeks. I was doing a Bible study activity, studying about how God is, among many names, my Hope. The reference was for the first verse, but as I read on I was amazed at how much the words spoke to where I am at.
I haven't written about what's on my mind as much as I could. For one, I go days without checking my email or using the computer. (I started this blog two days ago and am just now able to continue). Two, I wonder at times whether what I am thinking is worth writing about for others to read.
But, for what it's worth, I'll share a little bit:
Lately my biggest struggle is not being able to go very long without thinking about my hopes and desires for a baby. I thought I was handling it fine, and mostly I am, but some days it's hard. It's hard because we are waiting to know what our future looks like, and I am struggling between being practical and giving into my need to ease my immediate hopes and longings. Does that make me selfish also? Unhappiness with both of my jobs probably adds to my current anxiety. Being that it is spring time, this all comes to my mind more often. I would be due in a month. My friends from college just had their baby, and they were due a month before we were. I had kept track of how many friends and family were pregnant when we were, and now many of them have already had their baby.
It's springtime, and I am looking forward to warmer days, and sunshine, and getting little steps closer to knowing our future: where? when? how long? what will we be doing? And, when will the wait be over?
O lord, you alone are my hope.
I've trusted you, O Lord, from childhood.
Yes, you have been with me from birth;
from my mother's womb you have cared for me.
No wonder I am always praising you!
My life is an example to many,
because you have been my strength and my protection.
These verses have been on my mind and heart over the last few weeks. I was doing a Bible study activity, studying about how God is, among many names, my Hope. The reference was for the first verse, but as I read on I was amazed at how much the words spoke to where I am at.
I haven't written about what's on my mind as much as I could. For one, I go days without checking my email or using the computer. (I started this blog two days ago and am just now able to continue). Two, I wonder at times whether what I am thinking is worth writing about for others to read.
But, for what it's worth, I'll share a little bit:
Lately my biggest struggle is not being able to go very long without thinking about my hopes and desires for a baby. I thought I was handling it fine, and mostly I am, but some days it's hard. It's hard because we are waiting to know what our future looks like, and I am struggling between being practical and giving into my need to ease my immediate hopes and longings. Does that make me selfish also? Unhappiness with both of my jobs probably adds to my current anxiety. Being that it is spring time, this all comes to my mind more often. I would be due in a month. My friends from college just had their baby, and they were due a month before we were. I had kept track of how many friends and family were pregnant when we were, and now many of them have already had their baby.
It's springtime, and I am looking forward to warmer days, and sunshine, and getting little steps closer to knowing our future: where? when? how long? what will we be doing? And, when will the wait be over?
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
New days
I've been at my new job the last two days. Yesterday was crazy because I was in the Academic Support room, sometimes called the "emotional support" room, where kids who are either on IEPs (Individual Educational Plans such as getting extra test time, or hard copies of all notes), or are struggling with class and/or failing. These kids had attitude. I worked in there with two other aides, so I sort of took the backseat and let them run the room like usual. This plan has worked in the other two schools where I would sub in the special ed rooms. Unfortunately, I realized too late, this class was a bit different, and walked all over the aides. At one point a student who wandered in the room to "take a ten minute nap" while on his lunch break, and instead proceeded to check his facebook, blew up at an aide, used foul language, and slammed the door on the way out. Needless to say I had to follow him out into the hall and have a little talking to with him. That is NOT ok to do, ever.
Today was much better. I subbed for a social studies teacher, and got to sit in on the first hour of a class where actual teaching and discussion was happening. It was refreshing to remember what that was like, and it made me miss not having my own students and classes to teach. But I did enjoy myself today. Knowing that I'm a permanent fixture (at least for the rest of the year) means I felt more like I was settling in to a new home, and the teachers were very friendly and chatty and welcoming in the teacher workrooms.
All in all, I'm looking forward to the next few months and feeling more like I belong rather than an outsider that's temporary.
Today was much better. I subbed for a social studies teacher, and got to sit in on the first hour of a class where actual teaching and discussion was happening. It was refreshing to remember what that was like, and it made me miss not having my own students and classes to teach. But I did enjoy myself today. Knowing that I'm a permanent fixture (at least for the rest of the year) means I felt more like I was settling in to a new home, and the teachers were very friendly and chatty and welcoming in the teacher workrooms.
All in all, I'm looking forward to the next few months and feeling more like I belong rather than an outsider that's temporary.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Continuing Thoughs
I wanted to add to my last post. Krista, thanks so much for the perspective on numbers. I actually wasn't sure the exact numbers, so I did a little research.
The total number of legal abortions in the United States since 1973 (Roe v. Wade) is estimated at anywhere from 35-46 million. That is a lot. A very significant number not to be ignored. More than I may have guessed if put on the spot. Another study said that from 1920-2000 it is estimated that there have been anywhere from 527-836 million abortions worldwide. WOW! It's sickening, isn't it? This includes all countries and forms of practices throughout the world.
To find the number of casualties, deaths, or lives lost in war, any war, or all wars is a big project. I found a few websites that list the number of estimated deaths in the 20th century. This includes civilians, military, and other deaths (like famine) caused by war. Again, having studied history I do not think it is black and white whether every war can be avoided, but considering the numbers I would like to hope we could exhaust all other options first. Especially when John McCain tells us we may be in Iraq for another 100 YEARS!
The following information was taken from this website:
(Matthew White, Historical Atlas of the Twentieth Century, 2001):
* Deaths by War and Oppression:
o Genocide and Tyranny:
+ 83,000,000
o Military Deaths in War:
+ 42,000,000
o Civilian Deaths in War:
+ 19,000,000
o Man-made Famine:
+ 44,000,000
o TOTAL:
+ 188,000,000
I want to reemphasize that the number of legal abortions is extremely significant (though if it wasn't legal the number of illegal would increase), and that I'm not discounting that. Back to my original point, we could look at the number of deaths based on poverty, racism, lack of medical care, and war, and realize there are a lot of issues that our politicians need to address. All of this can be touchy without any answers in black and white (hence the name of my blog!), but I believe it's healthy to discuss and keep our minds, hearts, and spirits challenging the status quo, especially as Christians.
The total number of legal abortions in the United States since 1973 (Roe v. Wade) is estimated at anywhere from 35-46 million. That is a lot. A very significant number not to be ignored. More than I may have guessed if put on the spot. Another study said that from 1920-2000 it is estimated that there have been anywhere from 527-836 million abortions worldwide. WOW! It's sickening, isn't it? This includes all countries and forms of practices throughout the world.
To find the number of casualties, deaths, or lives lost in war, any war, or all wars is a big project. I found a few websites that list the number of estimated deaths in the 20th century. This includes civilians, military, and other deaths (like famine) caused by war. Again, having studied history I do not think it is black and white whether every war can be avoided, but considering the numbers I would like to hope we could exhaust all other options first. Especially when John McCain tells us we may be in Iraq for another 100 YEARS!
The following information was taken from this website:
(Matthew White, Historical Atlas of the Twentieth Century, 2001):
* Deaths by War and Oppression:
o Genocide and Tyranny:
+ 83,000,000
o Military Deaths in War:
+ 42,000,000
o Civilian Deaths in War:
+ 19,000,000
o Man-made Famine:
+ 44,000,000
o TOTAL:
+ 188,000,000
I want to reemphasize that the number of legal abortions is extremely significant (though if it wasn't legal the number of illegal would increase), and that I'm not discounting that. Back to my original point, we could look at the number of deaths based on poverty, racism, lack of medical care, and war, and realize there are a lot of issues that our politicians need to address. All of this can be touchy without any answers in black and white (hence the name of my blog!), but I believe it's healthy to discuss and keep our minds, hearts, and spirits challenging the status quo, especially as Christians.
Thoughts on Politics
I have been watching this presidential nomination process very closely. I find myself nervous at times, and dare I say emotional as I listen to speeches that speak to me and allow me to dream about future possibilities. I go online as soon as the polls are expected to close to see what the results are, I watch CNN and MSNBC while I work out at the gym, I read the newspaper and online news constantly.
Last night I was reading Gregg's Gabmles post on Presidential Politics. I loved his post, and have felt the same as I've heard both Michelle and Barack Obama speak. I too, find myself saying YES! to my computer screen as I watch speeches. And truthfully, I tried to keep an open mind about Hillary. I didn't read her book, as I did Obama's, but I tried to read about her policies and be open to what she may have to say. But try as I might, lately she has repulsed me. I've read and seen videos showing how manipulative and power-hungry she is, heard testimonies of some of her closest advisers, and I just cringe.
I read the comments following Gregg's post, and had mixed feelings. One person compared the Obama fever with the 1960s and the way Americans flocked to JFK after an old timer like Eisenhower. I see similarities in this, as I studied a lot of American history to receive my history degree, but I think there is a difference here. JFK had political connections we can't even imagine because of his name, there was a long history of corruption (he received winning votes from people who weren't alive, for example), and in some ways was in the right place at the right time. True, in many ways he proved ill-equipped to handle the nation's problems. Obama, on the other hand, is competing heavily with another politician who has "experience," and thus if Obama wins it's not because no viable candidate ran against him. Many argue that Obama is all talk and no show, but listening, truly listening to his words, one can come to realize that this is no ordinary politician. Sure, he's forced to play the game, (he acknowledges in his book that unfortunately this is how our country runs its politics), but he has hope that this can change. More importantly, he is aware of the need for it to change.
This same commenter also said, "his stand on the value of human life scares me," to which another commenter responded well, saying "we have plenty of already LIVING human beings dying." To which I say, "That friend speaks my mind!"
This gets into one of the first issues I ever blogged about, why I started this blog in the first place. Why are so many Christians so focused on one or two issues (abortion and homosexuality) that they are willing to overlook so many other issues?? How can Republicans (and many Christians) be so Pro-Life yet be Pro-military and Pro-kill-all-enemies-of-America-because-God's-on-our-side? How many more millions of people have died in war than from abortion? Believe me, I am against abortion, but why do so many support life before birth, to virtually ignore issues of poverty and injustice once these babies are born?
I may not fully support Obama's Pro-Choice stance on abortion, but to me, his stance on poverty, education, ending the war, and many other issues seems much more "Pro-Life" than any other candidate running for the Presidential nomination in any party.
Thanks Gregg, for the thoughts!
Last night I was reading Gregg's Gabmles post on Presidential Politics. I loved his post, and have felt the same as I've heard both Michelle and Barack Obama speak. I too, find myself saying YES! to my computer screen as I watch speeches. And truthfully, I tried to keep an open mind about Hillary. I didn't read her book, as I did Obama's, but I tried to read about her policies and be open to what she may have to say. But try as I might, lately she has repulsed me. I've read and seen videos showing how manipulative and power-hungry she is, heard testimonies of some of her closest advisers, and I just cringe.
I read the comments following Gregg's post, and had mixed feelings. One person compared the Obama fever with the 1960s and the way Americans flocked to JFK after an old timer like Eisenhower. I see similarities in this, as I studied a lot of American history to receive my history degree, but I think there is a difference here. JFK had political connections we can't even imagine because of his name, there was a long history of corruption (he received winning votes from people who weren't alive, for example), and in some ways was in the right place at the right time. True, in many ways he proved ill-equipped to handle the nation's problems. Obama, on the other hand, is competing heavily with another politician who has "experience," and thus if Obama wins it's not because no viable candidate ran against him. Many argue that Obama is all talk and no show, but listening, truly listening to his words, one can come to realize that this is no ordinary politician. Sure, he's forced to play the game, (he acknowledges in his book that unfortunately this is how our country runs its politics), but he has hope that this can change. More importantly, he is aware of the need for it to change.
This same commenter also said, "his stand on the value of human life scares me," to which another commenter responded well, saying "we have plenty of already LIVING human beings dying." To which I say, "That friend speaks my mind!"
This gets into one of the first issues I ever blogged about, why I started this blog in the first place. Why are so many Christians so focused on one or two issues (abortion and homosexuality) that they are willing to overlook so many other issues?? How can Republicans (and many Christians) be so Pro-Life yet be Pro-military and Pro-kill-all-enemies-of-America-because-God's-on-our-side? How many more millions of people have died in war than from abortion? Believe me, I am against abortion, but why do so many support life before birth, to virtually ignore issues of poverty and injustice once these babies are born?
I may not fully support Obama's Pro-Choice stance on abortion, but to me, his stance on poverty, education, ending the war, and many other issues seems much more "Pro-Life" than any other candidate running for the Presidential nomination in any party.
Thanks Gregg, for the thoughts!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Snowy Afternoon
It's snowing right now. I'm home at 11:30 because the school district called for an early release due to icy roads expected this afternoon. I have the whole afternoon and evening off!
The school I interviewed with yesterday called me yesterday and offered me the building sub position for the high school. I told them I'd let them know today, but as I thought about it last night I realized I have no reason not to take it, except not having too much flexibility during the week, but that's real life, right? I could think of many more reasons why I should: better pay, guaranteed job every day through the end of the school year, never having to deal with sub callers or waking up at 5 am to check for new jobs online, it will look good on a resume to be a building substitute versus a per diem sub, limited benefits (though I'm not sure what, some sick days/personal days).
So, I think I am going to call today and accept the job. I always feel bad letting other people down (the other two schools I work at), but I have to do what's best for me in this case.
The school I interviewed with yesterday called me yesterday and offered me the building sub position for the high school. I told them I'd let them know today, but as I thought about it last night I realized I have no reason not to take it, except not having too much flexibility during the week, but that's real life, right? I could think of many more reasons why I should: better pay, guaranteed job every day through the end of the school year, never having to deal with sub callers or waking up at 5 am to check for new jobs online, it will look good on a resume to be a building substitute versus a per diem sub, limited benefits (though I'm not sure what, some sick days/personal days).
So, I think I am going to call today and accept the job. I always feel bad letting other people down (the other two schools I work at), but I have to do what's best for me in this case.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Catching up
During the week I don't have much time to blog, so my mind begins to accumulate things I want to mention. Here's a few of them.
1. I joined a women's Bible study at our new church, and it starts tonight. We're reading "The Power of a Praying Woman" and I'm really excited. One of Michael's professors joined it also, so I'm looking forward to getting to know her better as well.
2. A group of friends from Michael's program started an indoor coed soccer team. Our first game was last Thursday, and I'm still sore. It's going to be a lot of fun, though I was a little intimidated at first because every person on the team but me played collegiate soccer (well, the goalie didn't either).
3. Today I interviewed for a building substitute position in a district I've subbed in only three times. If I get it, it means I would have a guaranteed job every single day for the rest of the school year. I'm not quite sure if I want that though. Plus, I really enjoy the other two districts that I sub in most of the time.
4. I've never practiced Lent, although one year Michael and I tried to give up ice cream, and that lasted about two days. This year I was thinking about it while at work, and decided I'd give up "complaining at work." So far I've done really well, and I feel like my overall attitude (and tips?!) have improved.
5. I meant to blog about this a long time ago. Last fall after our miscarriage Michael and I were trying to come up with something to help us in our grieving and healing process. We never picked a name (some people do despite not knowing a gender), so finally we decided to buy a teddy bear to have something tangible and significant to us. We went to Build-A-Bear and found the cutest bear with little patches on it. We went through the process of stuffing the bear, putting the heart inside the bear, and naming the bear. The tag it came with called the bear Champ, saying it is a "brave fighter," and the patches represent overcome struggles. The patches are a symbol of a young girl who passed away from cancer at 15, and the idea behind the bear is to let kids know it's ok to need help and share your feelings/struggles. For some reason we just loved the bear. We ended up getting the bear on the same day that our niece, Isabelle, was born, which was also special for us.
6. Over the last two weekends we've been able to visit with friends from Oregon who now live in New Jersey. Two weekends ago we gave our friends a tour of downtown Philadelphia, Liberty Bell and all. Last Saturday we drove up to Princeton where our other friends just moved back to, and got to spend the day visiting with them and touring Princeton. It's fun to have a little bit of Oregon on the east coast.
Love Park
Princeton University
1. I joined a women's Bible study at our new church, and it starts tonight. We're reading "The Power of a Praying Woman" and I'm really excited. One of Michael's professors joined it also, so I'm looking forward to getting to know her better as well.
2. A group of friends from Michael's program started an indoor coed soccer team. Our first game was last Thursday, and I'm still sore. It's going to be a lot of fun, though I was a little intimidated at first because every person on the team but me played collegiate soccer (well, the goalie didn't either).
3. Today I interviewed for a building substitute position in a district I've subbed in only three times. If I get it, it means I would have a guaranteed job every single day for the rest of the school year. I'm not quite sure if I want that though. Plus, I really enjoy the other two districts that I sub in most of the time.
4. I've never practiced Lent, although one year Michael and I tried to give up ice cream, and that lasted about two days. This year I was thinking about it while at work, and decided I'd give up "complaining at work." So far I've done really well, and I feel like my overall attitude (and tips?!) have improved.
5. I meant to blog about this a long time ago. Last fall after our miscarriage Michael and I were trying to come up with something to help us in our grieving and healing process. We never picked a name (some people do despite not knowing a gender), so finally we decided to buy a teddy bear to have something tangible and significant to us. We went to Build-A-Bear and found the cutest bear with little patches on it. We went through the process of stuffing the bear, putting the heart inside the bear, and naming the bear. The tag it came with called the bear Champ, saying it is a "brave fighter," and the patches represent overcome struggles. The patches are a symbol of a young girl who passed away from cancer at 15, and the idea behind the bear is to let kids know it's ok to need help and share your feelings/struggles. For some reason we just loved the bear. We ended up getting the bear on the same day that our niece, Isabelle, was born, which was also special for us.
6. Over the last two weekends we've been able to visit with friends from Oregon who now live in New Jersey. Two weekends ago we gave our friends a tour of downtown Philadelphia, Liberty Bell and all. Last Saturday we drove up to Princeton where our other friends just moved back to, and got to spend the day visiting with them and touring Princeton. It's fun to have a little bit of Oregon on the east coast.
Love Park
Princeton University
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Super Tuesday
Holding my breath on Super Tuesday. I'm actually nervous and anxious.
I hope all you Idaho and Colorado folks (and many others) are voting today!
It's definitely time for a change.
I hope all you Idaho and Colorado folks (and many others) are voting today!
It's definitely time for a change.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Pennsylvania Random Facts 101
I learned a few fun facts about Pennsylvania this week:
-No matter where you are in the state, you are never more than 25 miles from a state park.
-PA is 33rd in size (area) but 5th by population.
-Native residents of PA are more likely to stay here, in their home state, than any other state in the nation.
-1/3 of PA residents live in rural areas, the largest non-urban population in the nation.
-PA drivers have the 3rd lowest auto mileage in the nation, probably due to the fact that most live less than 25 minutes from work.
-There are more bridges in the state (57,000) than any area on earth its size.
-William Penn owned it all (no commoner in history before or since has personally owned so much land).
-PA's road systems are equal to all of New England and New Jersey highways, local roads, and city streets combined.
-PA German carpenters in the 1730s built Conestoga wagons with a "lazy board" at the front left for the driver to stand on. All U.S. vehicles have had the driver on the left ever since.
-PA is one of only three states with more than one major orchestra and art museum and more than one team in major league baseball, football, and hockey.
-No matter where you are in the state, you are never more than 25 miles from a state park.
-PA is 33rd in size (area) but 5th by population.
-Native residents of PA are more likely to stay here, in their home state, than any other state in the nation.
-1/3 of PA residents live in rural areas, the largest non-urban population in the nation.
-PA drivers have the 3rd lowest auto mileage in the nation, probably due to the fact that most live less than 25 minutes from work.
-There are more bridges in the state (57,000) than any area on earth its size.
-William Penn owned it all (no commoner in history before or since has personally owned so much land).
-PA's road systems are equal to all of New England and New Jersey highways, local roads, and city streets combined.
-PA German carpenters in the 1730s built Conestoga wagons with a "lazy board" at the front left for the driver to stand on. All U.S. vehicles have had the driver on the left ever since.
-PA is one of only three states with more than one major orchestra and art museum and more than one team in major league baseball, football, and hockey.
Age is how you feel, right?
The other night I was hanging out with two other wives while Michael and the two husbands did homework. Somehow we started talking about age. I know that Heidi graduated a year after me, and Emily graduated a year before me. At some point I made a comment about being 24, and Heidi told me I am actually 25, which of course I had to disagree with. And Em said she was 24 also, about to turn 25. Then we realized that doesn't make sense, and we kept talking back and forth, trying to figure out our ages. I actually had to pull out a piece of paper and do the math:
2007
-1982
-------
25
Em and I were both born in 1982, so we realized that we had to be 25, and that she will turn 26 soon (in 2008). I wasn't convinced until I remembered Michael had his golden birthday last year (24 on the 24th), and I realized if he is going to be 25 soon then I just turned 25.
Someone just asked me at work how old I am and I told them I just turned 24.
I guess this means I'm getting old, when I have no idea how old I am anymore.
2007
-1982
-------
25
Em and I were both born in 1982, so we realized that we had to be 25, and that she will turn 26 soon (in 2008). I wasn't convinced until I remembered Michael had his golden birthday last year (24 on the 24th), and I realized if he is going to be 25 soon then I just turned 25.
Someone just asked me at work how old I am and I told them I just turned 24.
I guess this means I'm getting old, when I have no idea how old I am anymore.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Driving home from work...
Today's outrageous NPR comment:
A woman called in to the show and said she really likes Barack Obama. In fact, he's her number one choice. But she's not sure if she's going to vote for him because she's afraid that if he is elected he will be assassinated. Apparently, there is momentum behind this idea; there are people who want Obama to be President but are afraid they would be to blame for his assassination if they vote him into the White House.
Wow.
This is almost as crazy as the woman who came into the restaurant I serve in last Fall and told me that if Clinton is elected President, Obama will be VP (which I don't think would happen), and then he will plot her assassination so he can become President and force all Americans to become Muslim.
Double Wow.
A woman called in to the show and said she really likes Barack Obama. In fact, he's her number one choice. But she's not sure if she's going to vote for him because she's afraid that if he is elected he will be assassinated. Apparently, there is momentum behind this idea; there are people who want Obama to be President but are afraid they would be to blame for his assassination if they vote him into the White House.
Wow.
This is almost as crazy as the woman who came into the restaurant I serve in last Fall and told me that if Clinton is elected President, Obama will be VP (which I don't think would happen), and then he will plot her assassination so he can become President and force all Americans to become Muslim.
Double Wow.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Only because you asked...
My sister-in-law, Amy, tagged me, and since I never usually respond to these I thought I would for once. I came up with this list today while I was substituting.
6 Non-Important things/habits/quirks about myself:
1. I love history, especially American history, and love teaching it in a way students want to learn it, and can realize how much it really does affect them. (Most people think of history as boring, date memorization and/or irrelevant to today.) The corollary to this is that I'm a nerd.
2. One of the things I'd like to do before I die is write a best-selling novel. I've had this idea for as long as I can remember. Maybe a semi-autobiographical novel-type. Or a historical novel. I go back and forth between the two.
3. I aspire to be a morning person. Morning People seem so...motivated. Unfortunately, I am a night owl who enjoys sleeping in. On the plus side, I married a night owl who enjoys sleeping in with me.
4. I'm a sucker for romantic comedies, and movies, books, and TV shows that make me cry. I weep like a baby when I watch "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" and "The Notebook" and "Armageddon," to name a few. A lot of books make me ball my eyes out as well.
5. I believe a good cry is good for the soul. Every once in a while I have to have a good cry. I never really know when it's coming, and then it just sweeps in like a tornado with no warning. (This Good Cry is not to be confused with The PMS Cry, which is totally different and comes like clockwork.) Luckily, Michael has known this about me for a long time, and knows exactly what to do when the tears come: just hug me and let me cry it out. He usually says something like, "you haven't had a good cry in a while, have you?" as I try to explain why I'm crying, though I'm unsure myself.
6. Certain issues get me fired up (see previous post), including, but not limited to the following: the inadequacies of our government to meet the needs of many people, especially in areas of education, poverty, and lack of medical care. And lately, I've been really bothered by the pretense that our country is diverse and "equal," when there is no doubt of the inequalities in our country, specifically in the area of racial segregation. We are doing a disservice to our young people to teach them that our country offers equal opportunities for minorities and the poor, that desegregation is a thing of the past, when it is a pure fact that segregation is not a thing of the past. The percentage of segregated schools in our nation rivals (is within a few percentage points of) the number at the time of Brown v. Board of Education in the mid-1950s and the height of the civil rights movement. We are not making much progress, and we should not let students grow up thinking we are. There is no such thing as equal access to education in this country. Not when I live two blocks from a brand new, multi-million dollar middle school building, and schools within an hour from here have outdated textbooks, underpaid and inexperienced teachers, buildings with little or no heat or air conditioning, and the list could go on and on. Not to mention that many of these poorer schools are 100% non-white, and many of the best schools are almost 100% white.
Ok, I went on a little tangent on the last one, but there you have it.
So now I have to tag 3 others:
Michael
Luke
Bev
6 Non-Important things/habits/quirks about myself:
1. I love history, especially American history, and love teaching it in a way students want to learn it, and can realize how much it really does affect them. (Most people think of history as boring, date memorization and/or irrelevant to today.) The corollary to this is that I'm a nerd.
2. One of the things I'd like to do before I die is write a best-selling novel. I've had this idea for as long as I can remember. Maybe a semi-autobiographical novel-type. Or a historical novel. I go back and forth between the two.
3. I aspire to be a morning person. Morning People seem so...motivated. Unfortunately, I am a night owl who enjoys sleeping in. On the plus side, I married a night owl who enjoys sleeping in with me.
4. I'm a sucker for romantic comedies, and movies, books, and TV shows that make me cry. I weep like a baby when I watch "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" and "The Notebook" and "Armageddon," to name a few. A lot of books make me ball my eyes out as well.
5. I believe a good cry is good for the soul. Every once in a while I have to have a good cry. I never really know when it's coming, and then it just sweeps in like a tornado with no warning. (This Good Cry is not to be confused with The PMS Cry, which is totally different and comes like clockwork.) Luckily, Michael has known this about me for a long time, and knows exactly what to do when the tears come: just hug me and let me cry it out. He usually says something like, "you haven't had a good cry in a while, have you?" as I try to explain why I'm crying, though I'm unsure myself.
6. Certain issues get me fired up (see previous post), including, but not limited to the following: the inadequacies of our government to meet the needs of many people, especially in areas of education, poverty, and lack of medical care. And lately, I've been really bothered by the pretense that our country is diverse and "equal," when there is no doubt of the inequalities in our country, specifically in the area of racial segregation. We are doing a disservice to our young people to teach them that our country offers equal opportunities for minorities and the poor, that desegregation is a thing of the past, when it is a pure fact that segregation is not a thing of the past. The percentage of segregated schools in our nation rivals (is within a few percentage points of) the number at the time of Brown v. Board of Education in the mid-1950s and the height of the civil rights movement. We are not making much progress, and we should not let students grow up thinking we are. There is no such thing as equal access to education in this country. Not when I live two blocks from a brand new, multi-million dollar middle school building, and schools within an hour from here have outdated textbooks, underpaid and inexperienced teachers, buildings with little or no heat or air conditioning, and the list could go on and on. Not to mention that many of these poorer schools are 100% non-white, and many of the best schools are almost 100% white.
Ok, I went on a little tangent on the last one, but there you have it.
So now I have to tag 3 others:
Michael
Luke
Bev
What decade, or century, or millenium is this anyway?
As I was driving home from work a few minutes ago, I was listening to NPR, as I always do. The topic of conversation was the Presidential election, and callers were giving their opinions about the candidates.
I am shaking with anger. I know that this country is full of ignorant people, but I like to have more hope in people.
A listener from Georgia (or somewhere else in the South, maybe Florida?) called in and said he is a Democrat who is voting for Hilary Clinton. He went on to say that if Clinton doesn't become the Democratic candidate he will vote for McCain for a few reasons, saying Obama seems to be all talk and no substance. Fine. His second reason (and according to him the opinion of all his friends) is race. He said that despite what anyone can say, race will be a determining factor for the next President-elect. The NPR host clarified by saying to the caller, "So, you are saying that our country is not ready for an African-American President?" And the caller, being directly questioned, admitted, "yes."
My hands literally started shaking. I was so upset, that people really think that a man like Barack Obama can't become President simply because of his the color of his skin, and that this man from somewhere down South was willing to admit on national radio that he won't vote for a man because of his race.
(I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. See #6 on my next post.)
Yet another reason I want to teach social studies. Too many people in our country are so ignorant it is almost inconceivable.
I am shaking with anger. I know that this country is full of ignorant people, but I like to have more hope in people.
A listener from Georgia (or somewhere else in the South, maybe Florida?) called in and said he is a Democrat who is voting for Hilary Clinton. He went on to say that if Clinton doesn't become the Democratic candidate he will vote for McCain for a few reasons, saying Obama seems to be all talk and no substance. Fine. His second reason (and according to him the opinion of all his friends) is race. He said that despite what anyone can say, race will be a determining factor for the next President-elect. The NPR host clarified by saying to the caller, "So, you are saying that our country is not ready for an African-American President?" And the caller, being directly questioned, admitted, "yes."
My hands literally started shaking. I was so upset, that people really think that a man like Barack Obama can't become President simply because of his the color of his skin, and that this man from somewhere down South was willing to admit on national radio that he won't vote for a man because of his race.
(I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. See #6 on my next post.)
Yet another reason I want to teach social studies. Too many people in our country are so ignorant it is almost inconceivable.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Other Blog
Michael and I have been slowly keeping two lists of observations from living here in Pennsylvania:
-Perceptions of Oregon
-Differences between Pennsylvania and Oregon
I posted this list on our other blog. Check it out.
-Perceptions of Oregon
-Differences between Pennsylvania and Oregon
I posted this list on our other blog. Check it out.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Thoughts in Church
I wrote on my last blog that I was worried about people asking me "are you trying again yet?" Four (maybe more?) people have asked me that in the last few days. And a few others have asked me when we plan to have kids.
At church we usually sit in the back, which is where parents with young infants also tend to sit. So, each week at church Michael and I usually find ourselves watching little babies all service. OK, maybe it's more me than him, but I always point the babies out to Michael because they are always so adorable. Even as I sit here at the coffee shop there is a smiley, pudgy little baby sitting across from me. I see babies everywhere I go! Or, maybe my baby-radar is more acute?
I think I've mentioned this before, but I can't remember a single time I've been to church in the last few months and not cried, or teared up at least. I can't quite explain it, but I've realized I'm not communicating with God as much lately as I could/should be.
In some ways I think I'm afraid to be honest about being disappointed with God. This is a big deal. The devotional book I was reading after the miscarriage talked about this and challenged me in this area. It asked me to confront my true emotions regarding God's role (which is what?) in this, and asked me if I was upset with God. The point in the book was that it's OK to be upset with God, as that's an emotion of grief, as long as I begin to work through it. Is it OK to be upset with God? What does that really mean? In another section she actually presents the idea that we may feel the need to forgive God. Not that this means God did something that needs forgiving, but maybe in our hearts we have an emotion that needs to go through the process of releasing and "forgiving." Again, I'm not sure how I feel about this, but I'm curious if anyone has an opinion or insight about this.
Back to church. When I'm at church my heart finds this place where it's raw and sensitive and honest, and without even realizing it I find myself just aching a little. And wanting to understand God's timing in a way that I can't right now. And wondering about the future. And exchanging smiles with the baby in the seat in front of me.
At church we usually sit in the back, which is where parents with young infants also tend to sit. So, each week at church Michael and I usually find ourselves watching little babies all service. OK, maybe it's more me than him, but I always point the babies out to Michael because they are always so adorable. Even as I sit here at the coffee shop there is a smiley, pudgy little baby sitting across from me. I see babies everywhere I go! Or, maybe my baby-radar is more acute?
I think I've mentioned this before, but I can't remember a single time I've been to church in the last few months and not cried, or teared up at least. I can't quite explain it, but I've realized I'm not communicating with God as much lately as I could/should be.
In some ways I think I'm afraid to be honest about being disappointed with God. This is a big deal. The devotional book I was reading after the miscarriage talked about this and challenged me in this area. It asked me to confront my true emotions regarding God's role (which is what?) in this, and asked me if I was upset with God. The point in the book was that it's OK to be upset with God, as that's an emotion of grief, as long as I begin to work through it. Is it OK to be upset with God? What does that really mean? In another section she actually presents the idea that we may feel the need to forgive God. Not that this means God did something that needs forgiving, but maybe in our hearts we have an emotion that needs to go through the process of releasing and "forgiving." Again, I'm not sure how I feel about this, but I'm curious if anyone has an opinion or insight about this.
Back to church. When I'm at church my heart finds this place where it's raw and sensitive and honest, and without even realizing it I find myself just aching a little. And wanting to understand God's timing in a way that I can't right now. And wondering about the future. And exchanging smiles with the baby in the seat in front of me.
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Restless
I've had random things on my mind over the last few days:
-Our Christmas/New Year Letter is finished! And more importantly, has been printed and mailed out. This is a big accomplishment since last year's letter was written but never sent.
-Money. Gotta' have it, especially when cost of living is so much higher here than back in Oregon. Gotta' work to get it, which is best when you like your job(s) (more on that in a moment). Today we received an unexpected last paycheck from Michael's job that he quit last spring at the high school in Salem. God continues to provide for us in times of need.
-Work. I'm reading a book about teaching right now, and it makes me miss real teaching. Not that student teaching is exactly "real teaching," but it's the closest I've gotten to teaching so far. But I do wish for my own classroom, to really have a chance to make an impact and do something meaningful. Substituting is hardly meaningful or rewarding, except for the very few students that I'm starting to have repeatedly, and know by name.
-Working out. I joined a gym and have dedicated myself to staying in shape. Plus, I figure Michael will be busy with schoolwork, so it will give me something to do. We still don't have a TV, so I get my TV fix while I work out. Working out has the added benefit of causing me to eat better and take better care of myself.
-Second semester. Michael starts school again on the 14th, which means another busy semester is about to begin. We are trying to enjoy as much time as we can together (between both our current work schedules) before the craziness of school begins again.
-Summer/Fall. I'm anxious about the future, as always. We're both excited to figure out where we will be heading this Fall. Because it's a new calendar year I seem to be reflecting more on what this year will bring. We're not sure when we will head to Oregon again, and we know Michael has school for the entire year.
-And the topic on my mind the most: Will this be the year we have a baby/get pregnant again? We hope so. But, we feel that we must wait until we have a better idea of our overseas plans before we can plan for that. So for now, we are waiting. The advantage of not telling anyone we were trying the first time meant no one had a clue and therefore no one could ever ask us, "so, are you pregnant yet?" I am afraid that people are starting to wonder, "are they going to start trying again?" It's been more than three months since the miscarriage. Overall, I'm doing well, but I have days when I find myself teary-eyed for no explained reason, except really, I know why. In some ways that's frustrating, to realize that I may find myself sad at unexpected moments for the rest of my life. On the other hand, I am glad to know that something that has felt so much a part of who I am now will remain.
-Our Christmas/New Year Letter is finished! And more importantly, has been printed and mailed out. This is a big accomplishment since last year's letter was written but never sent.
-Money. Gotta' have it, especially when cost of living is so much higher here than back in Oregon. Gotta' work to get it, which is best when you like your job(s) (more on that in a moment). Today we received an unexpected last paycheck from Michael's job that he quit last spring at the high school in Salem. God continues to provide for us in times of need.
-Work. I'm reading a book about teaching right now, and it makes me miss real teaching. Not that student teaching is exactly "real teaching," but it's the closest I've gotten to teaching so far. But I do wish for my own classroom, to really have a chance to make an impact and do something meaningful. Substituting is hardly meaningful or rewarding, except for the very few students that I'm starting to have repeatedly, and know by name.
-Working out. I joined a gym and have dedicated myself to staying in shape. Plus, I figure Michael will be busy with schoolwork, so it will give me something to do. We still don't have a TV, so I get my TV fix while I work out. Working out has the added benefit of causing me to eat better and take better care of myself.
-Second semester. Michael starts school again on the 14th, which means another busy semester is about to begin. We are trying to enjoy as much time as we can together (between both our current work schedules) before the craziness of school begins again.
-Summer/Fall. I'm anxious about the future, as always. We're both excited to figure out where we will be heading this Fall. Because it's a new calendar year I seem to be reflecting more on what this year will bring. We're not sure when we will head to Oregon again, and we know Michael has school for the entire year.
-And the topic on my mind the most: Will this be the year we have a baby/get pregnant again? We hope so. But, we feel that we must wait until we have a better idea of our overseas plans before we can plan for that. So for now, we are waiting. The advantage of not telling anyone we were trying the first time meant no one had a clue and therefore no one could ever ask us, "so, are you pregnant yet?" I am afraid that people are starting to wonder, "are they going to start trying again?" It's been more than three months since the miscarriage. Overall, I'm doing well, but I have days when I find myself teary-eyed for no explained reason, except really, I know why. In some ways that's frustrating, to realize that I may find myself sad at unexpected moments for the rest of my life. On the other hand, I am glad to know that something that has felt so much a part of who I am now will remain.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Servers are Complainers are Servers
I'm working on not complaining as much.
As a server (Yes we use this word not waiter or waitress), it seems inevitable that at some point every server will become a full-fledged complainer. Nothing will satisfy an experienced server.
Things servers complain about:
-Not enough tables
-Too many tables
-Not enough money
-Bad table sections
-Food comes out too slow
-Food comes out too fast
-Too many tables with not enough people
-Bad tips
-"Campers" (people who "camp out" for an extended period of time)
-Tables of two (never usually a money maker)
-Tables with kids
-Kids who order chocolate milk (we have to stir it up and make it ourselves)
-Parents who let their kids order, thinking it gives them some sense of responsibility, but really they just get shy and take ten minutes to order
-Not enough tables
-Sunday afternoon customers (are the stingiest tippers...because all the money went to tithing???)
-Not enough money
-Getting a whole bunch of tables at the same time
-Other servers are lazy
-Big parties who all order only water (Double complaints for lemons in the water!)
-Staying on the clock at not having enough tables
-Don't want to be at work, but don't make enough money....hmmmmm....
The list could go on and on. Basically, servers are never happy. I include myself in this list, though I am working hard to not complain. Complaining among servers festers and builds upon each other, and is not helpful. So I write this mostly to try to commit to making an effort to being positive.
Time to head back to work.
As a server (Yes we use this word not waiter or waitress), it seems inevitable that at some point every server will become a full-fledged complainer. Nothing will satisfy an experienced server.
Things servers complain about:
-Not enough tables
-Too many tables
-Not enough money
-Bad table sections
-Food comes out too slow
-Food comes out too fast
-Too many tables with not enough people
-Bad tips
-"Campers" (people who "camp out" for an extended period of time)
-Tables of two (never usually a money maker)
-Tables with kids
-Kids who order chocolate milk (we have to stir it up and make it ourselves)
-Parents who let their kids order, thinking it gives them some sense of responsibility, but really they just get shy and take ten minutes to order
-Not enough tables
-Sunday afternoon customers (are the stingiest tippers...because all the money went to tithing???)
-Not enough money
-Getting a whole bunch of tables at the same time
-Other servers are lazy
-Big parties who all order only water (Double complaints for lemons in the water!)
-Staying on the clock at not having enough tables
-Don't want to be at work, but don't make enough money....hmmmmm....
The list could go on and on. Basically, servers are never happy. I include myself in this list, though I am working hard to not complain. Complaining among servers festers and builds upon each other, and is not helpful. So I write this mostly to try to commit to making an effort to being positive.
Time to head back to work.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Christmas Vacation
We're home! Or did we just get back from "going home for Christmas?" I'm not sure where or what to call home, but either way, we're back in Pennsylvania.
And back to work. Our flight home from Portland took us to Seattle (with a four hour layover), and then to San Francisco, and with a delayed flight of over four hours, we finally slipped into bed around 5 am, almost 24 hours after we left Oregon. We slept in until 3:00 and I had to be at work at 4.
It was really good to be in Oregon. Michael and I had forgotten how much it rains in Oregon! We were blessed to see so many of our friends and family, many of whom we weren't sure if we would get to see.
One of the highlights of our trip was spending a day in Newberg, Michael's hometown and our college town, as well as where we got married. We spent a good amount of time at Chapters, our FAVORITE coffee shop, and actually ordered drinks twice while we were there, just to savor the coffee we so dearly miss. (Sidenote: We really miss good northwest espresso-especially Stumptown at Chapters.) Besides having amazing coffee, Chapters is the place to be in Newberg to just "run into" people. We ended up seeing many friends that were just stopping by for their own cup of joe. We also went over to Newberg Friends Church and got to visit with some of the pastoral staff (we worked as interns there during our senior year of college).
We were able to connect with some of our friends from Twin Rocks and Salem as well.
And of course, it was great to see both of our families, including a niece and two nephews.
It was good to be home for Christmas, especially because we aren't really sure where we will be next Christmas, and when we will get to visit out there again.
Michael doesn't start school again until January 14th, so he'll be working some and enjoying his break, while I will begin subbing again next week. And, trying to get our Christmas (New Year?) letter written! (We didn't get one out last year, so we'll see what happens).
And back to work. Our flight home from Portland took us to Seattle (with a four hour layover), and then to San Francisco, and with a delayed flight of over four hours, we finally slipped into bed around 5 am, almost 24 hours after we left Oregon. We slept in until 3:00 and I had to be at work at 4.
It was really good to be in Oregon. Michael and I had forgotten how much it rains in Oregon! We were blessed to see so many of our friends and family, many of whom we weren't sure if we would get to see.
One of the highlights of our trip was spending a day in Newberg, Michael's hometown and our college town, as well as where we got married. We spent a good amount of time at Chapters, our FAVORITE coffee shop, and actually ordered drinks twice while we were there, just to savor the coffee we so dearly miss. (Sidenote: We really miss good northwest espresso-especially Stumptown at Chapters.) Besides having amazing coffee, Chapters is the place to be in Newberg to just "run into" people. We ended up seeing many friends that were just stopping by for their own cup of joe. We also went over to Newberg Friends Church and got to visit with some of the pastoral staff (we worked as interns there during our senior year of college).
We were able to connect with some of our friends from Twin Rocks and Salem as well.
And of course, it was great to see both of our families, including a niece and two nephews.
It was good to be home for Christmas, especially because we aren't really sure where we will be next Christmas, and when we will get to visit out there again.
Michael doesn't start school again until January 14th, so he'll be working some and enjoying his break, while I will begin subbing again next week. And, trying to get our Christmas (New Year?) letter written! (We didn't get one out last year, so we'll see what happens).
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