The Job Hunt

Today I had my last official meeting with my supervising teachers. Yesterday was my last Willamette required presentation. So, I'm officially done and can now apply for my license!! CRAZY!

Obviously, I'm not done teaching, but I only have two weeks left with that as well. My students are doing projects and getting ready for finals, so I feel like I am done planning "lessons."

Today I got my first job rejection. I had interviewed for a job when we were in Pennsylvania, and I found out today that they hired someone else. It's ok, it's just been a frustrating process trying to look for jobs. The system in Oregon is so much easier because the application process is very centralized, but in Pennsylvania it is very random and hard to find jobs.

I have a feeling I won't find one until August, or, I may just end up having to substitute for the year. It would be fine, but not ideal.

It's also bittersweet because the school I've been student teaching at has a social studies position open, and they've made it pretty clear (repeatedly) that they would be thrilled if I wasn't moving and would apply for the job.

Speaking of jobs, I am trying to decide if I should try to find one for the summer. I can only work for 6-7 weeks, with a week of camp and a family reunion in there. So, I am not sure if anyone would hire me for that amount of time.

Graduation!

I'm graduating tomorrow! It's a little anti-climatic because I have to teach for another month, (and have a few more University obligations) but, it's still exciting. Yesterday I picked up my cap and gown and hood. I came home and tried them on for "practice." It was the first time I really felt like I am graduating on Sunday.

Today I am cleaning the whole house since we have family staying with us next weekend for Nick and Lindsay's wedding. It's amazing how quickly a house gets messy with two very busy people who come home and have to work and study all night.

Happy Mother's Day!

Ahhh..3 day weekend

1/6th of the way through the semester! But who's really counting?

Things are much better than they were the first week. I'm feeling more confident and continuing to learn new things every day.

I am trying to figure out how to respond to a student who I believe has some strong racist viewpoints, and is letting me know through assignments and class discussions. I don't think this student is super obvious to classmates, but obvious enough to me. Do I confront him? I probably will talk to him, since his papers include racial slurs and inappropriate comments. I hope and pray that something I teach the class will come through to this student and break some of his blatant ignorance about race.

Today I told me colleagues at school where I teach that my husband is a Quaker, and they immediately jumped into asking if he wears a tall, black hat, and all the other stereotypes. I was surprised at how little they knew.

Happy President's Day!

Friday means Week 1 is OVER!

Friday has never been so glorious.

This has been one of the most draining weeks that I can remember.

I started student teaching on Monday. I was nervous, but also excited to get into the classroom and get to know my students. There's only so much planning that can be done before you meet your students.

People keep asking me how this week has gone. My answer depends on the day of the week (or the specific class). Some days I came home thrilled and more excited about teaching. Other days, or even just after certain classes, I would be frustrated and feel deflated. I think I'm just really hard on myself. So, I answer the question of how it all went by saying, "well, I've realized I have a lot to learn." Which is the point in the first place; so that's something positive, I guess.

Today was the tipping point. I have one class that I had a hard time getting much response from (or at least, that's how it felt). During the last ten or fifteen minutes they were working on a writing assignment, and I had to fight to hold back tears. That of course frustrated me because I wasn't exactly sure why.

After school I went to talk to my supervising teacher, to try to "debrief" the week, and I couldn't get anything out because I was fighting back tears as hard as I could. I couldn't make eye contact, because my eyes were glistening and I didn't want him to see. Mostly, I just felt dumb. I will probably tell him next week that that happened, because I have been able to process it some. But at the time, all I could think was, "don't cry, don't cry, don't cry."

I got out of there as fast as I could. I called Michael, and while the phone was ringing I started balling. So much so, that when he answered his phone I could barely get any words out. He couldn't even understand me. We both know that I build up emotions and then need to just cry them out, sometimes for no specific reason. Often, something really tiny sets me off and then I ball and ball, and I can't put my finger on why.

I am a big crier, and have to just accept that. This week was draining physically. I came home every night and was exhausted, and usually in bed before 10. (Which is a big deal for me). Plus, I have been getting up at 5:30 every morning, and I don't think I've ever gotten up that early this consistently (and will continue for the next five months).

Besides being my first week of teaching, I had class every night until at least 7. So, Michael and I would both get home between 7:30 and 8, maybe watch American Idol (while he was also still working) and then head to bed by 9:30. So, we haven't spent much time together this week either.

To top it all off, he had to go to Twin Rocks this weekend for a retreat, and I had to be in Salem this weekend, so we won't see each other all weekend, either. I think our schedules have taken a toll on me as well.

So, it all came crashing down as the week drew to a close: I cried, talked it out with Michael, went home, "freshened up," and rewarded myself with a "Snickerdoodle": a white mocha with vanilla and cinnamon from the coffee drive-thru around the corner.

I am a big journaler, and blogging is a good way for me to process the week. Hence, the long blog!

SNOW!?!?

Snow!

I took these pictures with my laptop at school on Monday. The kid went CRAZY with the snow, especially after a five-day break.

And then yesterday was a snow day! So, no school/work for Michael and I. Instead, we had FANTASY BREAKFAST. It's a tradition we started with a couple friends. First, we had FANTASY CHICKEN BURGER night. We thought of every topping we could ever want on a chicken burger, and had those available. Then, yesterday, we made a ton of different breakfast foods and ate! The menu included french toast with strawberry butter, cinnamon rolls, lemon scones, hashbrowns, biscuits with sausage gravy, eggs and sausage, and orange juice. It was so good!!!

In a rut...

Well this is the week I finally hit a big wall.

The last couple months of school have been busy, but not extremely difficult. The last few weeks we have been slowly transitioning from observing to preparing a two-week unit to teach at the middle school level. I am so excited to be having more interaction with students and to be moving on to this part of teaching. Along with that comes the extra stress and difficulty of planning lessons and class time.

Many of us in my MAT program are starting to feel overwhelmed with the work load of homework and all the planning we are doing for teaching.

I just need to remind myself to push through this next month or two, and then I will be home free!! Well, sort of. Once everything is turned in during December, I can really focus on my student teaching full-time experience for second semester. I can't wait for that!

But alas, one step at a time, one lesson plan at a time...

Carmel+Cider+Whip Cream= YUM!

I just finished my last paper of a looooong string of papers due this week for school. Many of my classes are ending tomorrow as a new set of classes begin.

Beginning Friday I will be moving from the high school site I've been observing at to a middle school. For the next month I will be observing a 7th grade Geography class twice a week. In November I will be teaching a two week unit (on what specifically, I'm not sure yet.) Of all the social studies topics I could have been assigned, economics is the only subject that falls below geography in my interest level. I am excited to find a way to make geography engaging both for my students and me!!!

I have no doubt this will be beneficial in the long run.

On another note, I'm so excited that it's the time of year for Carmel Apple Cider at Starbucks!!! I love to eat the whip cream and gooey carmel off the top!!! There is nothing better. A good friend emailed me recently to remind me they are in season. This particular friend and I used to take study breaks in college and head to Starbucks for this delicious treat. It's funny how tastes and smells evoke such strong memories...

Priorities

Maybe it's because I'm now in the world of education (as a career), but I've found myself really worked up about how much money ISN'T spent on education, and is spent on other priorities in America, such as fast food, military, and pets (to name a few).

I am loving my classes and found myself actually thinking to myself the other day, "I can't imagine myself NOT teaching." I feel like God has continued to stir in me a passion for working in a high school setting, working with students and faculty that have so many needs: emotionally, spiritually, educationally.

All this to say, I read this quote the other day and couldn't have said it better myself:

"It will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the air force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber."

Thoughts?

Blessings

Our furniture delivery truck arrived yesterday! (AKA my parents).

They gave us a matching (applause goes here) set of couches. We are officially moving up in the world, from bright orange, mismatched-bachelor-style furniture to something that actually matches. We are very thankful for all the ways God has been providing for us lately. This furniture for one, finding good deals at garage sales, and friends that were a blessing by allowing us to live with them for the last week and a half.

And the latest way God has taken care of us: Yesterday I found out I got a scholarship for school that I wasn't expecting, so they wrote me a refund check in that amount. That was a HUGE blessing considering all the ways that going to school and moving into a new house costs money.

Because of all this I have every confidence that God will also provide Michael a job...in His own timing.

WOOO HOO!!

We're in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We got the call about 4:00 yesterday afternoon and spent the next 9 hours (Yes, until 1 AM) driving around picking up our stuff unloading boxes into the car and then into the house. We had to drive from Salem to North Keizer, back to the house, to South Salem, back to the house, then Michael had to drive to Newberg and back. It's nice to have all that done.

We are excited! I am feeling a little overwhelmed because I really want to be unpacking, cleaning and organizing, but I also have to force myself to stop so I can get homework done. I am glad it's the beginning of the school year so I'm not quite as overwhelmed with homework.

Besides moving, yesterday I went to my student teaching placement site. It got me really excited about observing, teaching, and just being in the school environment.

Last night Michael and I both felt this big SIGH...it's a relief to just be in the house.

Next step...Michael finding a job...

My Bubble Has Been Popped

My first week of Grad school is almost over. It's been a tiny bit of a culture shock. I've realized I've been in a little Christian "bubble" for the past 5 years: 4 years at George Fox, with the 3 summers in between at a Christian Camp. All last year I worked at a camp, and then...BAM!!!...Back to the real world! I feel a little immune to something as simple as cussing...it's weird to hear people dropping swear words left and right, even Professors! I am used to my Professors praying before class, not encouraging us to get together with our peers "over a beer."

But I am glad I am at this school. Last summer was the first time in a long time I wasn't in a Christian work or school environment. I found myself feeling more hungry for spiritual food and found myself being more intentional in my daily life. I've noticed when I'm in the Christian "bubble" I am not as intentional.

And, I figure if I get a job in a public school, I need to get used to it now. That is going to be my "ministry": Students, co-teachers, and school staff.

Someone asked me the other day why I'm not attending GFU's MAT program. Well, a huge reason I'm at Willamette is because it fit my summer commitment. Most MAT programs start in June and this one started in August. But honestly, I think I would have wanted to come here regardless. I wanted a more "well-rounded" educational experience, and as I said before, there is plenty of opportunity for ministry right where I'm at.

I think it's going to be a really good year.

Good Bye Camp, Hello School

I haven't posted anything in a while, for many reasons, one of them being I couldn't remember my password or Username to sign in to my blog. After exhausting every possibility I finally remembered it. Did I mention I have a TERRIBLE memory? And I want to be a history teacher!

ANYWAY- I'm welcoming myself back to the blog world. Michael and I just pulled into Salem, Oregon. We are officially done working at Twin Rocks and I start school...TOMORROW! I'm excited for Grad school, but a little nervous as well.

Goodbyes are always difficult for me. Yesterday we said good-bye to the 16 college summer staff that were at the camp all summer. They are such a special group and I'm still realizing just how much I'm going to miss them, especially the girls. This was the first time I've ever been in that type of designated "mentor and leader" position. I had a hard time with it at the beginning of the summer, but by the end I loved it. Those 9 summer staff girls are so special to me, and hold a very dear place in my heart.

Driving to Salem I was listening to the summer staff CD that Joe and Stephanie (my Supervisor and his wife) made for all the summer staff. They found a song for each person that spoke about who they are or what their summer was about. I found myself crying as I listened, especially to the two songs about coming down from the Mountain High and holding on to those lessons as we journey to the next phase in life. I was reminded that I'm leaving a mountain and starting a new journey in Salem.

Again, this was a very special group of college students and I miss them already. Differently then when I was actually on summer staff, because I invested so much into these 16 and saw their ups and downs of the summer in a different light, as their supervisor AND as their friend.

After many tearful goodbyes, Michael and I began the task of packing up our own apartment to prepare for our move. This morning I woke up and had to write a paper to turn in on my first day of school tomorrow, finished packing, and drove into town.

It's a quick transition, but we are excited and ready. I'm still thinking about and praying for my friends who left yesterday, some heading to their home as far as North Ireland. :)

God, help me to walk down this mountain with my heart held high, to follow your footsteps, and to offer up my broken cup, full of all the fears, joy, sadness, and excitement that I'm feeling right now, as Michael and I begin this next big step in our lives.

AMEN.