Sunday, September 23, 2007

Chapman Baby in Heaven

There's no easy way to write this. I could wait, but I don't see any reason to.

Friday night after I got off work I continued to have worsening symptoms, so around 10:30 Michael and I went straight to the ER. We were both crying a lot, because we knew something was seriously wrong, and we had an idea what it could mean.

They admitted me to the ER, took my blood, and eventually did two different kinds of ultrasounds. They couldn't find a heartbeat. We were officially miscarrying.

Obviously we were/are heartbroken. We sat there and cried for a while. Eventually they took me back to my other room and did some more examinations and tests. The OB-GYN on call strongly suggested that we have a procedure done to clean everything out, to avoid any risk of infection. They gave us the option of staying in the hospital over night and fitting me in on Saturday, or waiting and coming back in on Monday morning. We decided to stay overnight and just get it all taken care of.

Around 4 AM they were able to find us a room on a different floor. Michael slept on the floor. We rested, or tried to, as doctors and nurses (and even a chaplain in training) came in and out of our room all morning.

They finally came to get me around noon. Most of the morning I had been doing pretty well, just realizing that this is all in God's hands, and feeling a peace about it. I actually had three dreams on Thursday night where I had a miscarriage in each one. I think I had been slowly preparing myself for this possibility this week. As I lay in the Pre-op room, it really hit me that what they were about to do was going to make this really final. Michael and I sat there crying until the doctor finally came and took me into the operating room. The last thing I remember was laying on the table, crying and shivering, as the anesthesia kicked in. I woke up crying, and didn't stop for quite a while.

Thankfully, I am recovering quickly. I have almost no pain, just a little bit of soreness. I was released by 5:00 yesterday. We have been so blessed by Michael's classmates and their spouses who have been making us dinner and praying for us constantly.

We are at home resting. Pray that we will continue to grieve and heal and process all of this. Also, Michael has come down with a cold and is having a really hard time concentrating to get any school work done. He has already been feeling behind after being gone last weekend for a wedding, and now all of this.

We plan on just taking this week to rest. My work told me to just let them know when I'm ready to come back.

We trust that the Lord is going to work through all this. We trust His timing.

10 comments:

LeAnne_Troyer said...

Oh guys...we are soooooo sorry! We know how painful this miscarrying process is. We are praying for you...and if you need anything let us know. We know that it is in God's hands...I need your address. I have something for ya. OK...
God Bless...Jeph and LeAnne

Aj said...

Hi Melissa.

I don't know that we've met, but I grew up with Mikey at NFC. I've really appreciated reading about your adventures, and I'm so saddened regarding your loss. I pray that you heal quickly physically and that the presence of the Spirit is a encompassing comfort.

Amy said...

I don't think we've met, but I was in the same class at GFU as Amy. I just wanted to let you know that I am so sorry about your loss. I had a loss 5 months ago, so I have had a glimpse of what your pain is. I pray that God gives you and your family lots of comfort in the next few months. God Bless.

Josh said...

Praying for you and Michael...grieving and clinging so far from home.

Krista said...

Dear Melissa,

I'm so sorry to hear your news. I will keep praying for you. For peace and rest and hope through all of this.
Love you lots,
Krista

Tara said...

I'm so sorry Melissa, my heart truly breaks for you. You and your husband are in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Micahel & Melissa,

Our hearts go out to you at the loss of your baby. You have been in our thoughts and prayers. We love you both very much.

Uncle Kenny & Aunt Devonne

denise said...

I just heard yesterday...and I'm so sorry. I love you both so much, and pray that you will feel a very unique sense of the depth and compassion of Christ right now at this moment. Hugging you both...

Paula Jean said...

Wish we could be there to offer support and help in person - but know that we are thinking of you and praying for you. Rest in God's love today.

Anonymous said...

My dear friend Melissa,

I am still at work- wishing I was home with Andy and you guys eating another late dinner together :)

I just want to tell you that you and Michael are such a gi-hugic :) blessing to Andy and me. We can't even imagine what life going through the MBA program at Eastern U would be like without you by our side.

God has made you so beautiful inside and out- it is entertaining to watch day in and day out. I feel so blessed to be the one God chose to experience THE Melissa Chapman.

Can you come over so I can beat you in speed Scrabble???

haha all my love,

Heidi