"Tiny"

We are in the middle of packing up our apartment. We leave a week from yesterday, and we don't want to wait until the last moment to pack. We're sending some stuff on Amtrak, and just fitting the rest in our car.

Last night I was going through one of our closets and I found a box of clothes. It was a box Amy had sent me when we were pregnant last Fall. It was full of some maternity clothes, a book about pregnancy, and our first and only piece of baby clothing we received while we were pregnant. It was a little 6-12 months Onesie, yellow, and it said "Tiny" on the front. It was so cute. I was thinking about the fact that it was a piece of clothing intended for a specific person (our baby), and it sort of hit me. We never had an ultrasound (until we went to the ER), and so this little yellow outfit is the most tangible evidence I have that we were pregnant at one point.

I got sad. I started to cry. Michael walked in while I was holding it up. He hugged me. He wiped my tears. He understands my heartache, and shares in it.

This whole Waiting-Until-We-Have-The-Next-Phase-Of-Life-Figured-Out is difficult at times like this, when I am reminded of not only our loss, but the Uncertainty of our future. As always, I am just waiting upon the Lord (or trying to) and learning to trust in His timing.