Breathe out....

Spring Break is here just in time.
I don't think my body could handle another week of stress. It's definitely break time. As soon as my last class was done today, my body started reacting physically. My nose suddenly started to drip, my throat hurt, and I felt achey all over.

This week I accomplished my goal of FINISHING MY WORK SAMPLE! If you don't know what that means, it's a huge notebook full of an entire unit of lessons that I taught, written in very thorough detail, including assessments, pre-tests, post-tests, analysis of everything (with bright colored graphs and pie charts to go along with them), adaptations, summaries, reflections, school/class demographics, and on and on. We are required to turn in two of these during the course of the MAT program. I turned in my first one last November, a unit on US Geography, and then turned in my second one TODAY!!! (This one was on the Civil Rights Era).

This is definitely cause for celebration. That and the fact that the week after Spring Break is the half way point for the semester! (And it means 1 1/2 months until graduation!)

The other focus I had this week was job applications. The job hunt in the world of teachers has begun a little earlier than usual this year (which means NOW), and I was up until past midnight for the first time in months finishing an application.

To give you a glimpse into the teacher application world, and in case you want to empathize with me over the next several weeks and months,here are some sample essay questions taken directly off three school district applications I'm applying to:

1) Please elaborate on teaching strategies or techniques that have worked for you in the classroom. Specifically address strategies for special needs students and English language learners.

2) Describe ways in which you meet the definition of "culturally competent". Include any diversity training in which you have participated and how it changed your thinking.

3) What teaching techniques do you prefer?

4) Provide examples of success in improving student achievement.

5) What classroom management strategies do you use to effectively focus on instruction?

6) What led you into the teaching profession?

7) What challenges do you see facing public education in the immediate future?

8) What are your professional goals?

9) There are a number of contemporary issues in education. Please describe one, your understanding of how it applies to your area of teaching or work, and your beliefs about the importance of the issue.

Unlike writing essays for college applications, I can't reuse my answers to these questions (well, maybe parts), because these questions are all looking for different answers.

My plan is to take a few days off from school-related "stuff."

(Disclaimer: Paula H., if you read this, I'd like to apologize for the number of ex!cla!!mat!ions!! I used in this blog, and the NUMBER of words that I CAPITALIZED! I'M NOT REALLY SHOUTING, I'm just EXCITED!!!)

The process begins

First teaching job interview tomorrow!

Wish me luck!

The Good Teacher

Last summer I received a book, "Everyday Prayers for Teachers," as we were leaving Twin Rocks and heading to Salem so I could begin Grad school.

I want to post one of the prayers every once in a while.

Here's one:

The Lord is my teacher,
I shall not lose my way.

He leadeth me in the lowly paths of learning,
He prepareth a lesson for me every day;
He bringeth me to the clear fountains of instruction,
Little by little he showeth me the beauty of truth.

The world is a great book that he hath written,
He turneth the leaves for me slowly;
They are all inscribed with images and letters,
He poureth light on the pictures and the words.

He taketh me by the hand to the hilltop of vision,
And my soul is glad when I perceive his meaning;
In the valley also he walketh beside me,
In the dark places he whispereth to my heart.

Even though my lesson be hard it is not hopeless,
For the Lord is patient with his slow Scholar;
He will wait awhile for my weakness,
And help me to read the truth through tears.

Weekend Away

Michael and I are headed to A Weekend to Remember. It's a marriage conference that is taking place in Sunriver, Oregon. We've heard a lot of great things about this retreat, and are really excited.

Good friends of ours surprised us by telling us to keep this weekend open, and booked it and everything! We are blessed with wonderful friends, and are excited for a weekend to enrich our marriage.

On a Positive Note...

I thought I'd add that one of the really enjoyable parts of my days lately has been Coaching Track. I am really enjoying getting to know a group of kids in a different environment than the classroom. Somehow it is helping me feel more confident around school, and that carries over into the classroom. It helps that I'm having more fun and feeling more relaxed in the classroom and at track.

A lot more of my students are saying hi to me every time they see me (I think Cranium had to do with this!) and I can't help but feel a sense of belonging when every where I go I hear a "Hey Coach," or "hi coach Chapman," or "Hi Mrs Chapman."

That reminds me of something funny the lady who works in the front office told me today. I have noticed that there are some students who don't quite know my name. Yes, it's been almost 6 weeks and I've learned over 100 names, but they can't learn one! (I don't know what the implications are to that...)

Anyway, the other day a couple students started calling me "Chipple," which is a combination of my name and my supervising teacher's name (Whipple).

Then, the lady in the office told me today that she's been hearing some funny comments as students give her homework and make-up assignments to put in my box. One student asked for Mrs. Whipple, (you know, Mr. Whipple's wife, obviously!). Another asked for Mrs. Riley (The permanent sub for Whipple is named Mr. Riley).

Oh Kids...Too funny.

1/3 done this week!

Another week of rollercoasters. I had a great moment today connecting with a student who is behind in my class, and then I received an email a few hours later about another student who is struggling. grrrr....

This week I received a couple emails from friends who are currently teaching and/or recently went through a similar MAT program, and each email had the same theme. I was actually surprised how similar they each sounded: (Paraphrase)

God doesn't call us to something that he doesn't plan on equipping us for.

Basically, God has called me to be a teacher, and He will provide me with the strength, stamina, and skills I need to do this and do this well. Something I realized to add on to this thought is that I need to be seeking after God in all I do, and giving him a lot more credit for what happens during my day, and just inviting him to be a much bigger part of my day/life.

God, remind me to stop and talk to you throughout the day, so that your Light shines through me. Continue to remind me that I cannot do anything on my own strength.

Cranium

6 Week grades are this week. I can't believe how fast time is flying. I am graduating in a little over two months.

This last week was a good week. I am starting to feel a lot more comfortable in my classroom. On Friday I gave my class a test, and then I needed to come up with something to do with the last 30 minutes. It was a Friday, and we are starting a video research project on Monday, so I didn't really have a lot of "content" that I wanted to cover.

So, we played Cranium! I justified it because I have been feeling like my personality hasn't really been coming through in my class. I find myself coming across rigid and not relaxed. So, I wanted to do something that was low-key, and also gave my students a chance to interact and go crazy. In fact, I made all my students participate, and after a little while, everyone was into it: the kids that were "too cool" at first, and all the shy kids. Everyone was into it. It was awesome!

I am finding myself enjoying my students more and more, and that's what I needed to have happen this week.

TGIF

This week has been full of ups and downs.

One moment I'm asking myself, "How do I think I could ever be a teacher?"

Another moment I'm loving this whole teaching thing.

This week felt like there were more downs than ups. I started helping with the track team this week, and that's been fun.

I feel like I have not been "connecting" with students the way I want to, and that is one of the toughest parts.

Today I called home parents of students who are failing, and had a really frustrating experience with a father who basically told me the reason his son is failing is because I'm boring and "uninspirational," basically, because I'm not my supervising teacher. He did thank me for calling, however, as did the other parents I contacted.

Either way, it was a conversation full of hard words, and I'm trying to process it.

Thank you Lord for Fridays!

Ahhh..3 day weekend

1/6th of the way through the semester! But who's really counting?

Things are much better than they were the first week. I'm feeling more confident and continuing to learn new things every day.

I am trying to figure out how to respond to a student who I believe has some strong racist viewpoints, and is letting me know through assignments and class discussions. I don't think this student is super obvious to classmates, but obvious enough to me. Do I confront him? I probably will talk to him, since his papers include racial slurs and inappropriate comments. I hope and pray that something I teach the class will come through to this student and break some of his blatant ignorance about race.

Today I told me colleagues at school where I teach that my husband is a Quaker, and they immediately jumped into asking if he wears a tall, black hat, and all the other stereotypes. I was surprised at how little they knew.

Happy President's Day!

Sunday AM

Not too often in my life have I ever been certain that Christ is speaking to me in a direct, verbal way. Many times I have thoughts in my head, but question whether they are Christ or not. But today, I heard and obeyed.

Michael is gone for the weekend. I got up and walked to church by myself. The pastor spoke about the Year of Jubilee. It was an OK sermon, nothing profound really spoke to me. At one point I got a little squirmish. The pastor was referring to jails in the time of the Bible, and how prisoners were usually slaves, because murderers were usually stoned to death. Then, as a side note, he said, "by the way, capital punishment is God's idea." And that hit me the wrong way. The pastor then went on to share about how Jesus Christ is the fulfillment of the Old Testament prophecies, specifically referring to setting people free as the Jubilee was intended. And my inner-monologue thought, "Didn't Christ also come to fulfill (or change, I don't know what word to use here?) other Old Testaments ideas, like capital punishment?"

Forgiveness, specifically learning to forgive others, has been a huge theme in my life over the years. And I cling to the notion that Christ wants to give people the chance to seek forgiveness, even murderers.

But, back to my morning. I came home from church and made myself an Americano. I sat down to begin working on school/planning for the week. I am overly stressed about my lesson plans, especially considering how I felt leaving school on Friday. But I got a "nudging" (for lack of a better word) to get my Bible out and read for a while. I realized that I need to have my mind and heart at rest and clear, before I can dive into looking to the week ahead.

I am working on reading the Daily Bible this year (the Bible in 365 chronoligical readings). Right now I am reading Exodus, specifically when the Israelites have just left Egypt and are wandering around the desert.

Two thoughts came to my mind:

1) God takes honoring the Sabbath very seriously. I need to take it more seriously. With the crazy week I've had, and will continue to have, I need to allow one day of real rest, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally. Otherwise, I will have a breakdown before this semester is over.

2) I need to call my brother. He (and his new wife of about two weeks) have been on my heart for weeks/months. There is a lot of bitterness and anger wrapped around my family, and it hurts to be a witness to it. And I need to be more of an advocate.

So, I felt like God was saying, "Melissa, call your brother. "And I kept saying, "But I don't know what to say. I'm hurt that I wasn't at the wedding. I don't know what to say or do." And the Voice laid on my heart, "Call him right now. I will give you the words. Just do it." I opened my phone, pulled up his number, and then closed it. "Do it!" So I called him, and left a message on his voice mail, offering to bring him and his wife dinner sometime (they are extremely busy and also have a one-and-a-half year-old). I didn't know that I was going to do that, but I felt like that's what Christ was asking me to say. Will he take me up on the offer? I doubt it. But I will keep calling and keep trying.

Christ,
You are the only One that can bring healing and forgiveness to my family.
Help me to trust you to do this work in your timing, and not mine.
Meanwhile, keep me sensitive to your Holy Spirit
and to the work you are doing in me.

Amen.

Common question asked by students

A poem from one of my textbooks from Willamette. I love it!

DID I MISS ANYTHING?

Question frequently asked by
students after missing a class

Nothing. When we realized you weren’t here
we sat with our hands folded on our desks
in silence, for the full two hours

Everything. I gave an exam worth
40 per cent of the grade for this term
and assigned some reading due today
on which I’m about to hand out a quiz
worth 50 per cent

Nothing. None of the content of this course
has value or meaning
Take as many days off as you like:
any activities we undertake as a class
I assure you will not matter either to you or me
and are without purpose

Everything. A few minutes after we began last time
a shaft of light descended and an angel
or other heavenly being appeared
and revealed to us what each woman or man must do
to attain divine wisdom in this life and
the hereafter
This is the last time the class will meet
before we disperse to bring this good news to all people
on earth

Nothing. When you are not present
how could something significant occur?

Everything. Contained in this classroom
is a microcosm of human existence
assembled for you to query and examine and ponder
This is not the only place such an opportunity has been
gathered

but it was one place

And you weren’t here

By Tom Wayman (originally from The Astonishing Weight of the Dead)

Friday means Week 1 is OVER!

Friday has never been so glorious.

This has been one of the most draining weeks that I can remember.

I started student teaching on Monday. I was nervous, but also excited to get into the classroom and get to know my students. There's only so much planning that can be done before you meet your students.

People keep asking me how this week has gone. My answer depends on the day of the week (or the specific class). Some days I came home thrilled and more excited about teaching. Other days, or even just after certain classes, I would be frustrated and feel deflated. I think I'm just really hard on myself. So, I answer the question of how it all went by saying, "well, I've realized I have a lot to learn." Which is the point in the first place; so that's something positive, I guess.

Today was the tipping point. I have one class that I had a hard time getting much response from (or at least, that's how it felt). During the last ten or fifteen minutes they were working on a writing assignment, and I had to fight to hold back tears. That of course frustrated me because I wasn't exactly sure why.

After school I went to talk to my supervising teacher, to try to "debrief" the week, and I couldn't get anything out because I was fighting back tears as hard as I could. I couldn't make eye contact, because my eyes were glistening and I didn't want him to see. Mostly, I just felt dumb. I will probably tell him next week that that happened, because I have been able to process it some. But at the time, all I could think was, "don't cry, don't cry, don't cry."

I got out of there as fast as I could. I called Michael, and while the phone was ringing I started balling. So much so, that when he answered his phone I could barely get any words out. He couldn't even understand me. We both know that I build up emotions and then need to just cry them out, sometimes for no specific reason. Often, something really tiny sets me off and then I ball and ball, and I can't put my finger on why.

I am a big crier, and have to just accept that. This week was draining physically. I came home every night and was exhausted, and usually in bed before 10. (Which is a big deal for me). Plus, I have been getting up at 5:30 every morning, and I don't think I've ever gotten up that early this consistently (and will continue for the next five months).

Besides being my first week of teaching, I had class every night until at least 7. So, Michael and I would both get home between 7:30 and 8, maybe watch American Idol (while he was also still working) and then head to bed by 9:30. So, we haven't spent much time together this week either.

To top it all off, he had to go to Twin Rocks this weekend for a retreat, and I had to be in Salem this weekend, so we won't see each other all weekend, either. I think our schedules have taken a toll on me as well.

So, it all came crashing down as the week drew to a close: I cried, talked it out with Michael, went home, "freshened up," and rewarded myself with a "Snickerdoodle": a white mocha with vanilla and cinnamon from the coffee drive-thru around the corner.

I am a big journaler, and blogging is a good way for me to process the week. Hence, the long blog!

A History Lesson

I have spent the last two weeks getting ready for next semester. I have been making lesson plans, my syllabus, figuring out what to teach, etc., and am ready to just jump in and teach on Monday. I'm starting to feel restless. There's only so much planning that can be done.

Other teachers in my building have been warning me about certain students or overall classes I am getting. That's OK, but I am looking forward to a clean slate, both for these students and for me.

Today I was working on a lesson that I will be teaching in a few weeks about the US Bill of Rights. I was reading through the South African Bill of Rights and the United Nations' Universal Declaration of Human Rights. I have been very surprised at some of the issues covered in both of these documents, which the US Bill of Rights doesn't come close to covering.

Reading through the UN document, which was written Post-WWII, made me think of all the ways these rights have NOT been upheld in our world (especially in the US), and the implications these have on current events.

For example:

No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment. (Does this include for military or terrorist activities?)

Everyone has the right to leave any country, including his own, and to return to his country. (What about Mexicans coming to the US?)

Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control.

Motherhood and childhood are entitled to special care and assistance. All children, whether born in or out of wedlock, shall enjoy the same social protection.

And from the South African Bill of Rights:

Everyone has the right to life. Everyone has the right ­

1. to an environment that is not harmful to their health or well-being; and
2. to have the environment protected, for the benefit of present and future generations, through reasonable legislative and other measures that ­
1. prevent pollution and ecological degradation;
2. promote conservation; and
3. secure ecologically sustainable development and use of natural resources while promoting justifiable economic and social development.

Every child has the right (to name a few...)­

1. to a name and a nationality from birth;
2. to family care or parental care, or to appropriate alternative care when removed from the family environment;
3. to basic nutrition, shelter, basic health care services and social services;
4. to be protected from maltreatment, neglect, abuse or degradation;
5. to be protected from exploitative labour practices;
6. not to be used directly in armed conflict, and to be protected in times of armed conflict. (What about the children soldiers in Sudan?)
   

I am very appreciative of the United States Bill of Rights, but I also know we have a long way to go; however, just because they are written in a Constitution doesn't mean they are upheld.

Another quote

We mourn the victims of the World Trade Center attack. Their pictures cover subway walls. We mourn the firefighters, as well we should. But we are blind to those whom we and our allies in the Middle East have crushed or whose rights have been ignored for decades. They seem not to count.

-Another quote from the same book

War

Once we sign on for war's crusade, once we see ourselves on the side of the angels, once we embrace a theological or ideological belief system that defines itself as the embodiment of goodness and light, it is only a matter of how we will carry out murder.

-From a book I just started reading, called War is a Force that Gives us Meaning by Chris Hedges.

No School!

Today was supposed to be my first day back at my high school placement. Instead, it was a two-hour-delay-turned-into-no-school-day.

One of the great things about Michael and I both working in the school district is that when school is cancelled, we both get to stay home. We both came home and slept for three hours on the couch (we got home very late last night from his soccer game and had only gotten five hours of sleep). It was wonderful!!

I'm working on planning lessons for my upcoming teaching debut. I start teaching full-time in two weeks. I am nervous but excited. It's going to be a lot of work for the next few months.

Somehow Michael and I have to balance school, work, stress, finances, and try to fit in time for our marriage (date night!)

New Car!

Michael and I have been looking for a second car for the past few weeks. School starts today, and once I begin my full-time student teaching we will both need our own cars.

We kept getting a lot of frustrating emails and calls that said, "sorry, it's already sold." At one point we were on the way to Portland, and were only a few minutes away, when the guy called us back to tell us the car had been sold. But, last night we found a car that we were determined to check out, and we did.

And we drove it home!

It's a 1997 white Jetta. I am so excited. It will be my car, and Michael will drive the Subaru that we own. The funny thing is that Michael's dream car has always been a Subaru, and I've always wanted a Jetta, and it just worked out that we having matching white cars.

God definitely answered our prayers as we were hoping to get a car before this weekend.

The other answer to prayer was that we had a strict budget for buying a car, and all our research paid off, because this car was less than the maximum amount we were willing to pay!

Christmas

I haven't posted anything new in a while because we've been insanely busy. Here are some highlights:

-My birthday was the first week of December. We celebrated by having a Bunko party with friends.
-Michael and I celebrated our two year anniversary in Rockaway Beach. We stayed at Harbor Villa on the coast.

-We had Christmas with my dad's family, and then spent Christmas Eve and Christmas day with Michael's parents at our house here in Salem. This picture is Michael after he ran into his dad's room to wake him up on Christmas morning. And his sister Amy is on the phone.
-The day after Christmas we drove to Idaho and spent time with Michael's family: cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. We had a white elephant exchange, each person bringing something with the letter "S" (the last letter in Christmas). Michael got a Snow Scraper and I got a Starbucks package with a thermos and coffee. Michael also won the Ankeny Ping Pong Tournament.
-We all got sick while we were in Idaho, so this is a picture of us all sitting around with the flu. It was so bizarre, everyone but Nick, Amy and Devonne and Kenny were sick. It was the pits!-For New Year's Eve our friends Katelyn and Brett came up to visit from California. This is our second New Year's Eve with them.

Michael started back to work on January 2nd, and I go back to school on the 11th. I'm getting pretty nervous about starting my semester at the end of the month, but I'm excited too.
My New Year's resolution is to (of course) lose weight by working out and eating right. I started my training for the Hood to Coast in August. I'm also reading through the Daily Bible, which puts the Bible in chronological order in 365 segments, to finish in the year.

Quiz

Check out this website. After only 8 questions it will tell you what political label to give yourself. For example, I am a Centrist with a bit of Libertarian in me. Tell me how you score!

Christmas Decorations

Friday night we got our Christmas tree!! I was so excited because this is our first REAL tree since we've been married. We rearranged our living room and now it's cozy and feels like Christmas. I had a permanent smile on my face all night.

Today I decided to use up some of the branches we cut off the bottom of the tree and made a couple wreaths. It was so fun. I had never really done it before, but I think they turned out well.
I LOVE CHRISTMAS!